Livestrong Summit 2008

Hey Everyone!

For those of you who don't know, I applied and was accepted as a 2008 Lance Armstrong Foundation Summit delegate. This was a weekend gathering of 1000 people from across the United States, coming together to train, equip and learn how to make cancer a national priority. The theme of the weekend was, "Vote Yellow", encouraging us to really understand and be informed on where our politicians stand in the war against cancer. There was intense training on grassroots movements in the arena of advocacy, elections and fundraising. I learned so much and met so many amazing people through this experience. I saw leaders talk about both their personal battle with cancer, as well as cancer issues as a whole. The weekend was filled with passion, commitment and a sincere determination from every delegate to unite and make cancer a national priority.

The kick off to the event was Thursday night as we were introduced to the summit by Lance Armstrong. Keynote speaker was presidential candidate, John McCain. As cancer is a non-partisan issue, Barack Obama was also asked to attend but could not due to schedule conflict. It was a good speech and there was allotted time after for open discussion. The evening was packed full of energy and the Senator McCain promised to reverse the current trend of cutting funds in the NIH. Overall it was a great way to kick off the event.

Day one went right into the track training. The morning started off with former Surgeon General Dr. Richard Carmona. He gave a great speech on the state of current cancer legislature and legislature still awaiting  support and approval. We then broke into a 5 hour in depth training in the track of our choice. I chose to train under the advocacy track, learning how to be a better advocate for cancer at every level. We received training that ranged from patient advocacy at a one-on-one patient level, to patient advocating and lobbying on Capital Hill. We were taught how to use our resources to further our cause, and how to make the most out of both earned media and social networking. We were trained on proper messaging techniques as well. The day concluded with a message from Dr. Harold Freeman of the Ralph Lauren cancer center in Harlem. He was an amazing man and a very motivational speaker.

Day two started off with a wonderful speech from Ms. Stephanie Spielman. She spoke on the importance of support from family and spouse at the time of diagnosis, as well as the the tole that care taking can be on a support person. She was very down to earth and very humbled by her husbands decision to leave the NFL to care for her when she got sick. It was an amazing story. Her speech was followed by a 6 hour day of training, again in the grassroots advocacy track. That night we were all invited to the Zoo for our Livestrong dinner and Zoo night. That was a great opportunity to meet people and really learn more about them and how cancer has affected their life. It was a lot of fun!

And today, the conclusion of the event, was incredible. We had a panel discussion of doctors, including Dr. Sanjay Gupta of CNN, Dr. Bernadine Healy of US News & World report and Dr. E. Gordon Gee of The Ohio State University. It was a 3 hour discussion that would be way to long to recap in blog, but their insight into the political, ethical and medical aspects of cancer were amazing. These are incredibly talented and well educated people that I really learned a lot from. 

And last but NOT least, I had an opportunity to meet Lance Armstrong's mom, and was able to tell her a little about our story and give her 3 of Michaels CD's! She asked if she could give one to Lance and I was like..."Uh, Yeah!" It was an amazing weekend and a huge opportunity for me to learn what I can do in this fight against cancer.....because if you don't fight cancer....."you don't know Jack!" :o)

Hollywood Ending...

So I want to know.... when in real life do you really see a "Hollywood" ending??You know.... you meet someone in Seattle on a radio show....fall in love...and meet at the Empire State building to look into each others eyes and live happily ever after? Or when does the man of your dreams, who is engaged to someone else, decide he can't live without you and finds you in a city park and you dance in the rain? Oh yeah....and you can't forget the feeling of that first time forbidden love with the rebel from the other side of the tracks... the one who happens to be a sweet, sensitive guy who shows everyone in the end that..."nobody puts Baby in the corner".

Yes, they are movies. Yes, it's Hollywood. Sleepless in Seattle. The Wedding Planner. Dirty Dancing. "Romantic comedy's", or as they are more widely known...."chick flicks". Why have they been given this title? Simple. Chick flicks give us hope. Chick flicks give us the chance to see that other people out there, although fictional, want and desire the same things as we do. It gives us a promise of that perfect guy or girl out there who will show up in the middle of the night proclaiming their love for us with a tear in their eye and hope in their heart. But come on.....does this SERIOUSLY ever happen???

YES!!!

I have decided that I am proclaiming; speaking it into existence that yes, one day it will happen! Do I know when? No. Do I know how? No. Do I know who it will be with? Hell, no! But I know one thing. I am, from this day forward, keeping the hope alive that I will get my Hollywood ending!

The movie Love Actually is a brilliant movie. If you have not seen it, go do it. I mean it. This movie follows so many different "love" stories, showing that there are many different kinds of love. And even if you don't find your Hollywood ending where you think it should be, wait. Wait, and love will find YOU. Wait, and love will come around. Wait and love will show up when you least expect it, and maybe in a way you never expected it. Because if you look around, and sometimes you really have to work hard to see it, love actually is all around us! It's in different forms. It's in friendships. In parenthood. In a pet. In a new found talent. In an accomplishment. In a sister. In a brother. In music. In life.

I heard a quote the other day that inspired me and moved me so deeply, and I will hold onto this until I get my Hollywood ending....

"Waiting is the worst part of life....

But the best part of life is having....

something worth waiting for".

Just wait....we will get our Hollywood ending.

I went on a cleaning spree tonight. I mean, a real frenzy! I swept, mopped, scrubbed, organized and so on. I cleaned out drawers, organized closets and even dropped tea tree oil on the carpet so when I vacuumed it would smell fresh and clean. I was nuts! And you know what happens when you clean for 3 1/2 hours strait...you have a LOT of time to think. "Cleaning out the closets" seemed an appropriate title for this blog. This has been on my mind for a while....

Something happened to me a year or so ago, a comment was made to me that I have never forgotten. It was said with a smile and a chuckle...meant to be a joke, and of course I laughed and responded accordingly....but inside it really made me THINK. That comment has stuck with me in the back of my mind to this day. For those of you who do not know, I was married once before Michael. (Hell, if I'm going to write a book, I may as well start opening the closets before someone else opens them for me). It was a short marriage, and out of respect for my ex-husband, I will not go into the details and reasons for our divorce. I will simply say I had no choice. I had to end the marriage. I have not told many people about this, so to some who find out, it comes as quite a surprise. For some reason, in this conversation I was having, I chose to share an experience I had had with my first husband. It was a group conversation, and when I said something about him, this person turned and looked at me and said...."You have been married twice?" To which I responded, "Yep"...she chuckled a little and then said....."So if you get married again you'll be a third time loser like me". Ouch.

It sucks when reality bites you in the ass, huh? She didn't mean it to be hurtful, she was simply making a "funny" statement. But the reality is....if I do indeed get married again, yes, it will be my third marriage. And I am 28 years old. Sometimes that really gets to me and I feel embarrassed. I think about it often. I think about how I want the excitement of a "first" romance, a "first" proposal", a "first" fairy tail wedding.... I know how important that is, and how special that is. Sometimes I let it get to me in a negative way, and I think to myself..."wow...I really am a third time loser". It's hard for me to think, "wow....I just met someone totally great and if he is uncomfortable with my past, he has every right to be...I just have to deal with it." If someone wants to experience a "first", I have to accept that it won't be with me. That's when I have to sit down and give myself a little pep talk

In my pep talks I have to tell myself...the "end" of my two marriages were not my fault. One was a reason I could not ignore, and one was death. I was an innocent party, a victim of unfortunate circumstances. I didn't chose those endings, they were handed to me. I would have easily taken "happily ever after". However... I have never once treated myself like a victim, and have never given up on what I want in life. When I have fallen, I have picked myself back up and started over again. It takes a little more faith now, but I know that I will get what I want....when the time is right.

A friend sent me a comment tonight that seemed so appropriate to this topic. She said, "Can't we just run away and start over? I don't like being an adult sometimes". I would love to "start over" sometimes. To wipe the slate clean and not have any baggage. My marriage to Michael was the most wonderful thing that has happened to me yet, THAT I would not trade for the world. But would it be nice to "start over"? Yes. It would be nice to be seen as the strong, confident, full of love woman that I am.....and not constantly worry if the other person is also thinking..."yeah, but she's a third time loser".

Tough one.