Happy Two Year Anniversary My Love

Dear Michael,
Two years ago tomorrow, Sept. 30 2006, we danced to Rascal Flatts',  "God Bless the Broken Road", surrounded by all of our friends and family at our wedding. As I lay here tonight and remember that night, I can't help but smile.

I smile at how excited I was on this night two years ago. It was the night before I became your wife. I couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life with you Michael. Everything was right in my world then. We had friends and family from all over the country come to share in our joy. I couldn't wait to look beautiful for you. I couldn't wait to come out of the doors at the church and see you waiting for me at the end of the isle. I couldn't wait to look you in the eyes and vow my life to you. I loved you so much, Michael. I loved us so much. We were amazing together, and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

We were so excited about our future. We talked about kids, buying a house, traveling, working together to give back to the cancer community. We had so much fun talking and planning all these things didn't we?? Our honeymoon was magical. Remember the night at the piano bar in San Antonio?? Or the 5 crazy cats on the porch of the B&B?!?  That was after the fancy $210 lobster dinner. You were such a good sport, honey. Didn't even care that I didn't ask the waiter what the 'market" price was. :o) You told me, "when are we ever going to go on our honeymoon again baby? who cares...." Maybe thats why you tipped the piano guy $80 for playing Ben Folds. Hahaha. Or maybe that was because of all the wine we had! Either way, we had so much fun didn't we??

Tonight I'm listening to a new Rascal Flatts song, "Here".... and some of my favorite lyrics,

 ...."I wouldn't change a thing, I'd walk right back through the rain.... I'd relive all the years, and be thankful for the tears....."

I can't tell you how true that is my love. I wouldn't change a single moment I shared with you, the good times and bad, in sickness and health, I'd walk right back through the rain with you, Michael. I'd relive all the years, and I would be thankful for the tears. Why? Because I shared them with you. And everything I shared with you was sacred my dear, everything.

I love you, Michael Alan Minton. I am thinking of you tonight, and I will be by your side in the morning. Celebrating our life and our love together. Goodnight my love..... Happy anniversary.

Love,

Your wife

facing fears vol.1

you know how people sometimes say you have to face your fears to get over them? there are two fears i have faced since Michael died. two fears i was not planning on ever facing or conquering. they may sound trivial, but they are real. and one of them i faced tonight.
for 9 1/2 years my dad has played piano at The Panda Inn restaurant on friday and saturday nights. when michael and i started dating, michael began rotating nights with my dad and soon became a regular "piano man" at Panda. we all used to gather for dinner with friends and family and see my husband play. he always played my song, Dancing in the Sand, and he always ended his set with " What a Wonderful World". i have not been back to the restaurant since Michael died. didn't think i could handle seeing that piano again. well... tonight was my dads last night at Panda, and i went. i thought it would be hard, but it wasn't bad. i didn't even tear up until i went up to the piano to congratulate my dad. sitting in a frame on the piano was the picture from the dispatch. seeing that choked me up a little. other than that i was ok. i was only at the restaurant for about 5 minutes because i have been really sick. but i did it. i faced that fear and i overcame it. and i know it meant a lot to my dad to see me there.
the next fear is going back to the james. i have not been back into that hospital since the day i left my husband there. our final trip there i knew would end in me leaving without him. and i have not set foot in there since. that one is going to be a little more difficult. and in my own timing, i will do it. and i will overcome it. That will be Facing Fears Vol. 2